These days, Dave and I spend our time with Tau either trying to keep our wits about us or shaking our heads in disbelief. Three recent conversations …
Lying with Tau at bedtime, as he rearranges his lions. “Uh … I needa my dog!”
“Dog isn’t here, honey. Hold this lion.”
“I. NEEDA. MY. DOOOOOOOOG!”
Sigh. Knowing full well that Dog is on the back seat of my car, I go the path of least resistance: “I don’t know where it is.”
Long silence. “Probably is downstairs. Probably is inna kitchen. Or probably is inna garage!”
And we are now in love with Band-aids. Whenever we fall, we NEEDA a band-aid.
The other day, after not listening and not watching where he was going, he trips, fall and bumps his right shin.
“Waaaaaaaaaaa!” Deep breath. “Waaaaaaaaaa! I NEEDA Band-aid!”
Unsympathetic mother: “Come here, lemme see. No, you don’t need a Band-aid. There’s no BLOOD. We only do Band-aids for BLOOD in this house!”
And we are the Ruler Supreme of last-ditch attempts not to have to go to sleep — especially where we are EXHAUSTED and should have been asleep ages ago.
Lying in the dark. “Mommy?”
“My diaper is coming loose.”
When did he learn loose? “No it’s not. I just put a new one on.”
“It IS! Is coming loose.”
“Lemme see.” Flip him on his back, zip down his PJs to check the velcro and make sure the fit is right and straight. “No it’s not loose.” Ziiiiip! “Come, let’s tuck you in.”
“Mommy? My diaper is giving me owie.”
I can hear him grinning in the dark. “OK. Go to sleep now.”
“Mommy? I need to go potty.”
“No you don’t. You need to go to sleep.”
“I NEED to go POTTY!” Silence. “I. NEED. TO. GO POTTEEEE!!!”
“OK. Let’s go potty.”
(And, yes. He really did need to go potty.)