Taxonomy and the Mother Befuddled

“Mom, what does CUMBERSOME mean?”

How to explain? “Cumbersome means big and awkward and kind of …” How to explain the idea of … BULK? “Like if I was carrying a whole ELEPHANT … and I was stumbling all over the place …” He giggles. “The elephant would be cumbersome.”

“Cumbersome is, like, big and bulky,” he says matter of factly, filing it away in his lexicon.

Yes. Bulky.

Two Things I Learned Before 8:05 This Morning

1. “Mom, eggs are very FRAGILE.”  As if he was telling me something I couldn’t possibly know. “That means that they can break very EASILY Mom.”
2. That in the 20 seconds (I exaggerate not!) that it took me to charge up the stairs to check that I hadn’t left a light on in the bathroom or walk-in closet, my three-year-old boy child can open the garage door by himself.

Yes, THE ROLL-UP GARAGE DOOR — the one that opens out to the street.

In 20 seconds flat, he carried a pine stool from the dining room into the garage, climbed up on it and pressed the button, which is WAY up the wall.

I heard the squeal of the garage door rolling as I reached the bottom of the stairs, and my whole body ran COLD. My face must have said it all because he immediately blurted out, “Sorry, Mom!”

Whereafter proceeded a very stern lecture about NEVER opening the garage door. Not until he was at least 26 years old.

Santa Rosa to Santa Cruz

Empire Grade Road,
on the Boony Doon Road ride 

A couple days in Santa Cruz saw us visit Healdsburg (very much worth it), drive the scenic Westside road past the wineries to our hotel, stop in at Flying Goat Coffee and Bottle Barn, stop by Enkidu’s tasting room (their wines are fantastic and very well priced), and spend some time at Howarth Park with lunch at Superburgers (insert from Sue: BEST burger and strawberry milkshake I ever had!) . Not bad!

We left Howarth park with a screaming three-year-old who insisted he needed to ride the “digger” but his evil parents declined shelling out $2 for the ride. Quick lesson in “life’s not fair” and “you can’t have it all kiddo.”

So p*ssed was he that at sleep time that night, when Sue asked him what his “best thing” of the day was, he blurted out “No, I’ll tell you what the baddest thing of my day was, and that was not going on da digger.”

Stu and Kristi will be happy to know that we stopped by ChezShea in Half Moon Bay on the drive down to Santa Cruz. It’s a funky eatery with world cuisine – Brazilian, Thai, South African etc.  The restaurant and Half Moon Bay is a recommended stop along the coast.

We have been staying in a family neighborhood in Santa Cruz, two blocks from the ocean. At night you can hear the waves crash against the cliffs. Here, we have discovered the neighborhood library and park, local beach and organic grocery store. And Tau has had a lot of fun playing with the kids of our hosts.

Trying out a two-wheeler

I took a ride along the cliffs yesterday afternoon and witnessed a pod of dolphins steal a set of waves from the local surfers in one of the nearby bays. Two to three dolphins a wave, they jumped and spun through the waves into the shore break, where they then turned around and swam back out to sea, right under the surfers. Pretty darn cool.

Today I headed out to climb Donny Boon Road which was part of the 2009 Tour of California route into Santa Cruz. Leaving Santa Cruz, you ride 10 miles north along the coast before turning onto Bonny Doon Road and then head directly inland. After about half a mile the climbing starts with an 11% grade. The climbing continues for another 2-3 miles of varying steepness before “leveling out” on Pine Flat road (nothing flat about this road) then finally turning onto Empire Grade Road and heading back into Santa Cruz. The descent was incredible as the redwood forest finally gave way to open grasslands and ocean vistas. Certainly worth dragging some other cyclists here to do this ride with me again sometime.

Only Granny Di Will Appreciate This One

As usual, in the half dark, talking about the wonders of the natural world as he falls asleep.

“Lobsters and crabs … dey’re not matching.”

“Mmm …”

“But dey have pinchers.”

“Yeah, they both have pinchers.”

“But dey’re not matching.”

Smirk to myself. Half a world away, my mother is the only one who would sing along with me, after I tell him: “Yes, crabs walk sideways but lobsters walk straight!”

We Had to Count All the Buses That Passed in Spanish Too

So we’re driving to school this morning …

Sue:  I see a big red truck coming!

Truck passes …

Tau:  That truck isn’t red …

Sue:  You’re right … it’s red from the front (the cab) and white at the back (the whole trailer part).

Tau:  No … it’s not, Mom …

Sue:  ?

Tau:  It’s rojo e blanco.

Sue: !

Uh … HELLO!?

I know I’ve been posting a lot of kid-versations recently but I am so amused by Tau’s sense of humor. (Yes, humor. He’s American, after all.)

Last night, I’m lying with him in the half-dark and he’s going off (OFF, I tell you) about where kangaroos live and whether some baby pigs can fly to Jupiter — just-pretend, Mommy! — and how do we go faster than the super jets and what do Orcas eat and drink in the sea and how can we go to (see) fireflies … et cetera, et cetera … and so forth.

And I’m so used to grunting in the right places or muttering, “they eat baby seals and drink water” for the Orca question that I start zoning out and going through my mental to-do list.

Next thing, a little hand waves frantically RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES and he’s all, “Hello! Mommy, are you LISTENING to me?!”

Last time I get away with with that one.

Grateful for the White Expanse at the Top of the Globe

Just yesterday a leprechaun visited Tau’s preschool class. He turned all the toy boxes upside down, magic’d the water in the toilets green, and sneezed all over the circle-time carpet dusting everyone and everything with glittery gold.

And so at the dinner table tonight we are asked, “Where do leprechauns live?”

“I have no idea,” I say.

He turns his attention immediately. “Daddy, where do the leprechauns live?”

“I don’t know, Tau. Ask your Mom — she knows all these things.”

I give Dave the stink eye. “In case you didn’t know, you’re also on the hook for explaining mythical characters.”

St. Paddy’s Day has no meaning for us. Leprechauns? We just don’t care. But at preschool, every Hallmark holiday is fair game — good for a marching parade, a party, themed story books and art projects on the subject.

Later as we dress him in PJs, Tau stares up at the world map on his wall. “Where do the leprechauns live?”

“Up in that white part at the top,” Dave says matter of factly.

We all set our focus on Greenland, which is all-white on this map. We have told him that this is where The North Pole is located, that it is super cold there, and it takes 11 (eleven!) airplanes to get there. So we won’t be visiting any time soon.

“Santa lives at the very top of Greenland,” I tell him, picking up where Dave leaves off, “and the leprechauns live at the very bottom of Greenland.”

“Because they are  green,” Dave adds, with authority.

Non Sequitur

Leaving the house today, we drive past our elderly neighbor, walking her grandson up the hill.

“Wave to Granny and Florim …”

“Why Granny and Florim are walking?”

“Granny and Florim are walking to the bus stop.” Then I remember that he doesn’t know what a bus stop is, so “because when you are a bigger kid, all the kids wait at a special place and  then the bus comes and gets you to take you to school … because right now I take you to school but when you get bigger, you will walk to the special bus stop and the bus will take you to school. All the big kids get to go on the bus … “

“An’ dey have lots of STEAM in dey WHEELS!”

Thanks for following along boy child.

The Sugar Bugs

Dave and I have been told that after we eat ice cream we need to brush our teeth.

Why? Because ice cream has lots of sugar in it.

And so we have to brush our teeth to keep the sugar bugs away.

So said Mr. Baker, the dentist, who came to teach Tau’s class about oral hygiene.

Ja, well, no fine.

Wherein the Mother Disappears Behind the Display of Laundry Detergent …

We are in Target, moving slowly down a quiet aisle that has only one other shopper.

“Mommy, that lady has PINK hair!”

So she does. Neon pink and black highlights to be specific.

“Why does that lady have PINK hair?”

“I don’t know, honey … “  and since the woman can clearly hear us talking, I add, “maybe because it looks pretty?”

“No … it DOESN’T look pretty …”

Next stop? The mommy-that-lady’s-got-a-baby-in-her-tummy line … about someone who is simply carrying a bit too much weight. Don’t imagine we have much chance of avoiding that one.

Sweet Boy!

Yesterday Tau’s one teacher told the kids that their other teacher would not be in because her baby was sick and she needed to stay home and take care of him.

She was surprised and heartened when Tau came up to her and said, “Maybe we can make a card for Mrs. H’s baby, so he can feel better?”

Sweet boy.

After Watching Too Much Dora

Staring at the World Map pinned to his bedroom wall … “How do we get to the Purple Planet?”

“We go in a rocket.”

In retrospect, it’s a bit scary that I didn’t even need to pause to consider the answer.

“But HOW do we get there?”

“In a rocket.”

Staring at the map. “But we don’t have any rockets.” Considers this dilemma a bit more. “They are all at the store. Maybe we need to get one.”

“Mmn … definitely.”  Carry on folding laundry. 

Jumping in the New Year

The first week of the year we met two sets of friends with kids Tau’s age at our local jumping gym.

Needless to say, the boy slept well that afternoon!

First Snow

Yesterday we went up to Palomar Observatory for the first time. There were small pockets of snow still left from the last snowfall — the observatory sits high on top of Palomar Mountain, one of the few places nearby that actually gets snow.

Tau got to see and touch the white stuff for the first time, something he’s been longing to do since watching Curious George Plays in the Snow and reading Snow is My Favorite and My Best numerous times over the holidays.

Helping the Babies With Their Underpants

Before Tau gets too big and starts singing tunes that actually make sense, I have to tell you about the nonsense songs. Made up by sticking together bits from songs that he hears once or twice and then more or less forgets.

“Underpants, underpants, under-PANTS!
We’re on our way to help the little babies
with their underpants …”

I think this one comes from the theme to a show called Wonder Pets, which goes like so:

“Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets!
We’re on our way.
To help a friend,
And save the day …”

Underpants. Yes. We sing the underpants song most mornings.